Love Has Left The Building
So I spent this evening with my ex-boyfriend. See post below for more angst ridden details. He was the first person I properly went out with and the first person I had sex with. He came over this evening to set up my wireless access - which was great because I couldn't do it. Now I can type from bed. Having done that, eaten a gingerbread man and sipped a Coke Zero he jokingly said he should have traded sexual favours.
See now we've been here before. After six months of not talking, since we met up recently we have indulged in 'naughty fun' twice already. Once at my house when everyone was out and then in a hotel for the night. This isn't your run-of-the-mill old flame sex because it involves bondage and some Dom/sub roles. If you've ever tried this, or regularly indulge you'll know that trust is a huge issue, as is feeling comfortable with someone. We've got these aspects in the bag. So anyway - we 'fell' into it again this evening. After an hour or two a couple of things started us giggling which killed that mood.
We lay on the bed chatting for a while and I reminisced whilst he just mumbled agreement with my ramblings. He's always been the kind of guy who is a) brutally honest and b) able to tourniquet emotions/segments of life in such a way that they no longer impact on him.
I've now become one of the things that has been tied off. I asked after some friends of his we holidayed with at Christmas as we were parting. In that typical female way I asked a leading question along the lines of "I bet they don't remember me fondly" (based of the fact that he and his friend had a huge row at the end of the holidays). He replied "I don't think they even think about you" or words to that effect, basically "you are a non-entity". As we hugged good bye I said " I miss you. Sometimes. Not all the time". To which he replied " What can I say back?" which was pretty harsh I thought.
It would be nice if he could at least acknowledge that we had had some nice times together. Afterall we did go ou for two and half years. Anyway, I don't think we'll see each other again. He finds the NSA thing too weird and is developing an ever deepening interest in this girl who has slept with over 100 men (ok so that wasn't the first thing he mentioned!) and is the sister of some old friends.
She's cool and funny by all accounts - she does outdoor sports, is presumably shit hot in the sack and even got to name one of the above friends new kittens. Whilst I hope they are happy, assuming it actually gets off the ground, I'd honestly like her not to quite measure up to me.
As we parted I thought I'd go for the money shot and asked "Do you want to go for lunch or something or would you rather we just didn't stay in contact?" The response to which was "I don't really know". Fuck all use.
Anyway- I think that's essentially a no. I think its a bit sad, but as we've still got to trawl through the court case its probably better we aren't friends, let alone lovers. He'll always be my friend in my head. Can't shape much outside that though.
See now we've been here before. After six months of not talking, since we met up recently we have indulged in 'naughty fun' twice already. Once at my house when everyone was out and then in a hotel for the night. This isn't your run-of-the-mill old flame sex because it involves bondage and some Dom/sub roles. If you've ever tried this, or regularly indulge you'll know that trust is a huge issue, as is feeling comfortable with someone. We've got these aspects in the bag. So anyway - we 'fell' into it again this evening. After an hour or two a couple of things started us giggling which killed that mood.
We lay on the bed chatting for a while and I reminisced whilst he just mumbled agreement with my ramblings. He's always been the kind of guy who is a) brutally honest and b) able to tourniquet emotions/segments of life in such a way that they no longer impact on him.
I've now become one of the things that has been tied off. I asked after some friends of his we holidayed with at Christmas as we were parting. In that typical female way I asked a leading question along the lines of "I bet they don't remember me fondly" (based of the fact that he and his friend had a huge row at the end of the holidays). He replied "I don't think they even think about you" or words to that effect, basically "you are a non-entity". As we hugged good bye I said " I miss you. Sometimes. Not all the time". To which he replied " What can I say back?" which was pretty harsh I thought.
It would be nice if he could at least acknowledge that we had had some nice times together. Afterall we did go ou for two and half years. Anyway, I don't think we'll see each other again. He finds the NSA thing too weird and is developing an ever deepening interest in this girl who has slept with over 100 men (ok so that wasn't the first thing he mentioned!) and is the sister of some old friends.
She's cool and funny by all accounts - she does outdoor sports, is presumably shit hot in the sack and even got to name one of the above friends new kittens. Whilst I hope they are happy, assuming it actually gets off the ground, I'd honestly like her not to quite measure up to me.
As we parted I thought I'd go for the money shot and asked "Do you want to go for lunch or something or would you rather we just didn't stay in contact?" The response to which was "I don't really know". Fuck all use.
Anyway- I think that's essentially a no. I think its a bit sad, but as we've still got to trawl through the court case its probably better we aren't friends, let alone lovers. He'll always be my friend in my head. Can't shape much outside that though.
posted by Make Mine A G&T at 5:45 PM
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